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D A N I   K W A N

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come on / keep it going / algorithmic

what’s this pattern / i’ve created / wasting my time?

hit me / with the d s / cataclysmic

you think / this means / anything?

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keep your eyes on me

feel those eyes on me

keep your eyes on me

need all eyes on me

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can’t stop / keep up rolling / nihilistic

flesh turned machine / who even sees / or cares about it?

hit them / like a passing semi / otic 

don’t look at me / don’t stop / stop

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keep your eyes on me

feel those eyes on me

keep your eyes on me

need all eyes on me

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Do you ever masturbate?
Is sex before marriage, like, a taboo in your house?
I really want to find a sub to peg…

Have you ever been punched in the boob? It sucks.

(Don’t get me started on how much getting hit in the vagina hurts.) If you’ve ever punched someone in the boob–I’m talking to you Matt Gilbert–you’re a jerk. It’s a cheap shot, a ‘low’-blow. Don’t do that shit.

Hey. So I hve a question…whats ur bra size??

Oh wow is that normal for an Asian grl?

Hey love. So, uh, what turns you on?
I’ve been reading a lot of mile-high club pr0n.
[inserts link of a white man/Asian flight attendant fucking in a plane]

You’re just so cute and shy, I really wanna cuddle with you.
I miss holding my ex after we’d finish up a night of bondage fucking to NIN.


What if it was just for a minute, would you let me?

Have you tried this Jackpot no hands thing?
[sends audio file]
You should try it. It really works... o///o

:shark: I miss you…
thinking about you in that corset you made…rawr.


You’re like the cross-section of smart Asian, cool Asian, and hot Asian, haha!


Let’s have another sleepover soon…
I’m willing to make the drive to see you!

Grabbing the binder and a shirt, I headed to the vanity mirror. I struggled to pull the tight spandex over my shoulders. My face flushed as I tried to yank it down over my boobs. Eventually, I wriggled it over my protruding chest and brought the rest of the material down over my stomach. Letting out a sigh, I adjusted the stiff material over my flesh until it didn’t look so lumpy.

 

I inspected the shape of myself, nodded in satisfaction, then slipped the soft cotton shirt over my head. As my eyes emerged from the dark grey of my boyfriend's shirt, I looked again. I turned to the side, my hand came up to pat my chest, and then—I felt a painful whoosh up my nose and my vision blurred. My lungs started to shake as I gazed at the mirror.

 

Watching the tears roll down, I laughed, teeth shining back at me.

 

“You should have known.” The reflection said.

 

“I should have known.” I squeezed out. The binder squeezed back.

Is it tender or painful? No.

Nipple discharge? No.

Redness, warmth? No.

Lots of little lumps? No.

Okay, probably not a cyst then.

 

What about Breast Cancer?

Hard or firm lump? Yes.

No pain? Yes.

Uh oh.

May feel like it’s attached to tissue deep inside? …No.

Irregular shape? …No?

Hm.

 

Alright, Benign Fibroadenomas.

Round, firm, smooth? Yes?

Can it be easily moved around? YES.

PHEW.

Okay.

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when did grandma pass away? when did grandpa pass away? where did they live before coming to the u.s.? when did they come to the u.s.? how old were you? where did they live in the u.s.? where did they live in Chinatown? where did you grow up? where did you go to school? where was the restaurant? did you work there the whole time? what would you do after school? what was your life like? what was your favorite food growing up? your favorite food now? what about your parent's favorite food? what do you miss now, that your parents are gone? what was the Chinese school I went to? where was it? What was it called? how many times did you drive me to aunt Mei’s? why doesn’t she call? what are you supposed to do when someone passes away? I only remember some things with grandma, what are you supposed to do? why did you say you didn't know Chinese? why are you still working? you work too hard. aren't you tired? don't you deserve to rest? will I ever make it? will I be successful? what is success? will I ever be able to buy a car? a house? all these goods, do they really measure success? does any of this really matter? will I get to ask you these questions before you're gone? I don't know. I don't know.

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